Gratitude

November is the month of giving thanks.  We see it on social media, “the 30 days of thanks” and all the buzz about Thanksgiving. The turkey, the obligated family gatherings, the pilgrims which we are thankful for finding this great land, the Indians for sharing their land with us. (Not really sure HOW the Indians feel about this holiday, they may regard it as something COMPLETELY different, but I digress)  We are being thankful this month, and I want to jump on the band wagon for a minute.

I am thankful for so much in my life.  Health, happiness, family, friends, love, forgiveness, and my CGM family, just to name a few.

But really, we should be doing this every day, every moment.  Thanking and giving gratitude to people around us, in our everyday lives.  That is one thing that has kept my marriage strong, I believe, is gratitude.  I learned it from my husband, really.  I was a stay at home mom for a few years.  That came with a lot of joy, work and regret.  I felt bad I was not contributing to the family finances like I should.  He thanked me, nearly every day, for staying at home and raising our boys.  That meant a lot.  He was recognizing that it was a job, a hard one, and expressed his gratitude.  That gave me a since of pride, and an understanding between us, that he appreciated me.  This goes for all things, big and small.  Taking out the trash, running the vacuum, laundry, fixing the car, playing with the boys, getting up and going to work….anything and everything we would exchange a thank you. Not every time, but often.  It may be our “job” or it may be expected of us, but that doesn’t mean you can’t show that you are grateful for them doing it, and recognizing the effort it takes.

This goes for your children as well.  Just remembering to do their chore, or put their glass in the dish washer, I try to recognize it, and throw a “thanks” their way.  I may EXPECT them to do all these things, but letting them know I saw their effect, really makes a difference. I am always trying to pull my boys aside and thank them for being kind and having patience’s with the little ones at family parties. I think this took a lot of effort for my son somedays, and I thanked him and hugged him for his awesome patience that evening. He had a smile as big as a cantaloupe across his face when he realized I was acknowledging his effort.

…and the BEST is when you get it back!  Nothing makes your heart swell, and eyes tear up, then hearing your child thank you, without being prompted.

Like, when your child is so excited to take you out around the neighborhood to sell some pizza cards…and it is a cold, rainy night.  No complaints, and as you are nearing your last house, they say, “Thank you for supporting me while I did this tonight.”….be still my heart. Or, you are going to basketball practice, 2 nights a week, every week….since….forever, driving 20 minutes there and back. Not to mention the countless games in various places. When returning home, they look at you and say” Thank you so much for taking me to practice every night and going to my games.  I know it is a lot.”….I can’t breathe…pulls at my heart strings.

We have always been quick to point out, at said sports games, to thank the aunts, uncles, friends and grandparents that attend your game, and cheer you on.  We point out that their grandmother could probably use some help unloading the groceries from the car, and they jump on it.  They see their dad hold doors open for people, or their mom unload a stranger’s grocery cart that is in a wheelchair behind them. They hear us thank each other for our daily tasks, and chores.

Live by example.

Montessori follows this in many ways.  In the teachers training, they are instructed to talk quietly, walk slowly and move gracefully. Grace and courtesy. Greeting a person, walking around a rug (rather than stepping on someone’s work), speaking quietly indoors, and waiting quietly rather than interrupting, are all examples of important grace and courtesy skills.  As the year progresses, we see the children in the classroom doing these things without being reminded…most of the time =)

If children see and hear your gratitude, it WILL come back around. Not all the time, and not every time, but when it does….watch out, it gets you right in the heart….and it feels amazing.